No, really, you are. But you're one of the best in London. You could convince a legless man to buy a pair of shoes. You could spit in a jar and sell it for medicine. You could sell a widow a charm to increase her husband's fertility. You rush forth where honest men fear to tread. Where other people see the love and joy of God, you see a chance for a profit.

Using your unscrupulous skills - and a copy of the Legenda Aurea - you work your way through the streets of medieval London, taking trash and turning it into treasure. You're just trying to help, of course, and if they're happy, who are you to let a little thing like honesty interfere with that? Why, you're doing a public service!

Your ultimate goal is to give up the life of deceit on the streets, and instead, become a lay clerk at St. Paul's Cathedral. Fortunately, you know where you can purchase, ahem, volunteer for the job. For the price of a proper bribe, why, it's a steal! Sadly, there are other citizens who share your desires, and they plan to take the job first. The first one to acquire the cash gets the job.

Good luck, God bless, and may the city guards always be looking the other way!